illusion & disillusion

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The illusion of choice or control may be crucial to our motivational systems and feelings of well-being for some adaptive reasons deriving from natural selection.

Perhaps it is only the belief in internal control that keeps one actively trying to manipulate the environment, which in turn is crucial for survival.

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Who are you?

How do we form an identity?

How many types of identity are there?

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Social Identity, which is the part of an individual’s self, is a concept which derives from his/her membership in a social group, together with the value and emotional significance attached to that membership.

Ethnic Identity, which is the part of an individual’s self knowledge that concerns his/her membership in a particular ethnic group.

 

Adolescents who identify with both mainstream culture & their ethnic group, create what is called a bicultural or integrated identity.

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Those who maintain a strong ethnic identity, maintain a separated identity.

Individuals who give up their ethnic heritage in favor of mainstream culture are said to be: assimilated.

Those who feel weak ties to their own ethnic culture as well as the mainstream culture, feel marginal, since they are outsiders in both cultures. Or, they adapt and become Bi-cultural.

BiCultural Competence is the successful functioning in both one’s culture of origin as well as in the new culture.

 

Under the circumstances and according to those circumstances of a culture, the according corresponding social norms emerge.

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Social norms are rules and expectations about how group members should behave.

Whereas social role refers to the set of norms that apply people in a particular position..

Internal attributions (moods, attitudes, personality, ability, health, preferences) and external attributions (pressure, money, weather, social situation) in turn usually determine Stability Vs Instability.

Social exchange is broken down in terms of interaction, on the basis of costs and benefits to each person, of possible ways he or she can interact. Even when unaware, the process of interaction creates rewards or benefits (information, smiles, approval, money, feelings) and costs (boredom, disapproval, being misunderstood) for the people involved.

Variations in speech other than the actual verbal contact, called para-language, carry a great deal of meaning. Voice pitch, loudness, rhythm, inflection, hesitations convey information.

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This is why sometimes we intuitively “know” what the other person is about, or what is saying, or what he/she really means.

Multiple channels are the three channels of communication, verbal, visible, paralinguistic and provides most information about a person’s real emotions.

Conflicts across channels are particularly important in interpreting apparently deceptive communication.

 

In conflicting situations, the non verbal communication is the one relied upon most heavily. The instinct as one can calls it.

 

People tend to imagine that everyone responds the way they do. They tend to see their own behavior as typical. This tendency to exaggerate is called the false consensus effect.

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Self Regulation, refers to the ways in which people control and direct their own actions.

Every situation is different and therefore needs to be assessed according to the particular Self Concept.

 

An aspect of Self Regulation involves self-complexity, which is the way people think of themselves according to the different groups they belong. For example, one can be a son, a brother, a friend, a husband, a father and a man, at the same time.

Another aspect is self efficacy, which is the expectations that we hold about our abilities to accomplish certain tasks. The smoker will not stop smoking unless he believes he can do it, however much he may want to stop.

 

Self Awareness, leads people to evaluate their behavior against a standard and to set an adjustment process in motion, for meeting the standard they set for themselves.

Self Attention, causes people to compare themselves to standards such as physical appearance, intellectual performance, athletic prowess or moral integrity.

We attempt to conform to the standard, evaluate our behavior against the standard, decide that it other matches the standard or does not and continue adjusting and comparing, until we meet the standard or until we give up.

 

An accurate Self concept is knowing who we are and what we want to do.

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To Be

“The story of man on earth bored me. Conquest, even the conquest of evil, bored me. To radiate goodness is marvelous, because it is tonic, invigorating, vitalizing. But just to be is still more marvelous, because it is endless and requires no demonstration. To be is music, which is a profanation of silence in the interests of silence, and therefore beyond good and evil.”

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“Music is the manifestation of action without activity. Music neither goads nor defends, neither seeks nor explains. Music is the noiseless sound made by the swimmer in the ocean of consciousness. It is a reward which can only be given by oneself. It is the gift of god which one is, because he has ceased thinking about god. It is an augur of the God which every one will become in due time, when all that is will be beyond imagination.”

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abstract from:

Tropic of Capricorn by Henry Miller.

Tropic of Capricorn is a semi-autobiographical novel by Henry Miller, first published in Paris in 1938.

The novel was subsequently banned in the United States until a 1961 Justice Department ruling declared that its contents were not obscene.

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Rock Bottom / Sky Ceiling

“Everything that happens, when it has significance, is in the nature of contradiction.

I imagined that somewhere outside, in life, lay the solution to all things.

I found that what I had desired all my life was not to live – if what others are doing is called living – but to express myself.

I realized that I had never the least interest in living, but only in this which i am doing now, something which is parallel to life, of it at the same time, and beyond it.

Wether I die today or tomorrow is of no importance to me, never has been.

The stabbing horror of life is not contained in calamities and disasters, because these things wake one up and one gets very familiar and intimate with them and finally they become tame again…

Suddenly you are in a city that you never expect to be in again and you have only to pass the night there, but it takes all the courage in the World to do so.

The people are of the same race as you, they go about their business as people do anywhere, they build the same sort of house, no better, no worse, they have the same system of education, the same currency even, and yet, they are absolutely different from the other people you know, and the whole atmosphere is different, the tension is different.

It’s almost like looking at yourself in another incarnation.

You know, with a most disturbing certitude, that what governs life is not money, not politics, not religion, not training, not race, not language, not customs, but something else, something you are trying to throttle all the time and which is really throttling you, because otherwise you woulnd’t be wondering how you were going to escape.

This bridge is the end, the end of me, the end of my known world.

This bridge is insanity, there is no reason why it should stand there and no reason why people should cross it.

People everywhere are producing crops and goods for other people – and I am like a ghost sliding between all this unintelligible activity.

I want to find some kind of work, but I don’t want to be a part of this thing, this infernal automatic process.

I was a contradiction in essence, as they say.

People took me to be serious and strong-minded, or to be happy and reckless, or to be sincere and earnest, or to be negligent and carefree.

I was all these things at once – and beyond that I was something else.

I searched the known and the yet unknown world and all the answers are over the bridge, that binds all that is true with what is real with what is imaginary and what is going to be.

At this point nothing is hardly enough. nothing.

At the point of rock bottom, at the point of peak, in any isolating true moment, music is very important.

Music is a tonic for the pineal gland.

It is the can-opener of the soul.

It makes you terribly quiet inside, makes you aware that there’s a roof to your being.”

RAW (4)

abstract from:

Tropic of Capricorn by Henry Miller.

Tropic of Capricorn is a semi-autobiographical novel by Henry Miller, first published in Paris in 1938.

The novel was subsequently banned in the United States until a 1961 Justice Department ruling declared that its contents were not obscene.

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